go back to what it meant back then

been off updating these for a while, and a few things happened since the last entry. nothing shocking, but still.

i kinda cut ties with my friend- the one from before. and yeah, it stings a bit, but i seriously can’t keep talking to someone who manages to bring up their partner in every single “how are you” conversation.
nothing against the poor guy, honestly. it’s just. sticky. annoying. like there wasn’t a single text where his name didn’t pop up.

so i stopped replying.
been reconnecting with old friends instead, which hhas been kinda comforting. and i’ve also found a weird sense of peace in being alone. sort offff??

in other news: i’mm thinking about cutting my hair myself. scary, but i think i at least figured out how to make my bangs behave (thumbs up!!)

i’m also trying to figure out how to tell my mom that i’ll be wearing a suit for my friend’s birthday. it’s nothing surprising, but she’s gonna get sooo hhysterical because it’s a fancy place and she wants me in a long dress. which i’m uncomfortable with(obviously), mostly in front of people who actually know i’m a guy.

anywayyy
i’ll survive. probably (not)

g :-)

i wish i could still say that you always save me on the daily basis, but as predicted, summer spirit never fails to take away every single thing that brings joy to the party, leaving me to confront this alone. it's like if someone kept pulling of a leash, and there's no other choice for me than come closer to it, to look at the eyes of death and realize that maybe i don't really need a reason to keep living this awful life